We’ve now reached Day 21 of Spooky Season!! Today, I’m sharing my favorite quotes from the Halloween classic, Idle Hands! Idle Hands is a quirky, random, bloody, hilarious masterpiece, and most of it is due to its characters and dialogue. I hope you enjoy and let me know your favorite Idle Hands quote! (SPOILER ALERT!!!)

Anton Tobias (Devon Sawa): “Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today because you’re all dead. And it’s my fault. Mom, Dad, what can I say, I mean… you brought me into this world, you put a roof over my head, you fed me until I killed you. So, I guess if you look at it that way, I haven’t been a good son, but I’m really, really, really sorry. And wherever you are, I just want you to forgive me because I’m going to try to change. Mick, Pnub, guys, you guys were the greatest. I mean, I’m never going to forget the way we sat around all day, watched TV, and got really stoned. And all those other times where we just… I guess that’s all we did. Amen.”

Mick (Seth Green): “Ok, I’m not going through all this Tanya. Go back that way. Now you’re really not gonna get any.”

Pnub (Elden Henson): “It’s just unfair.”

Mick: “Well, you can go back if you wanna get a piece.”

Molly (Jessica Alba): “We’ll have to pick this up later, Baby Snakes, cause my parents might take offense to some dirty, bloody boy banging their daughter.”

Mick: “Well, wait, once that hand is gone, how are you gonna cut off the other one?”

Anton: “Oh, the left one’s a keeper. I mean, I guess it wasn’t idle enough.”

Mick: “Are you sure?”

Anton: “Yeah. I mean, I use it for a lot of things, you know? I light up, I change the remote, I relieve a little tension.”

Randy (Jack Noseworthy): “What’s up, Anton? Nice outfit!”

Anton: “So, nothing cooler than a chick bass-guitar player. Especially one that writes her own lyrics.”

Molly: “You read them?!”

Pnub: “What a waste.”

Mick: “I thought you didn’t like Curtis.”

Pnub: “I’m talking about that a**!”

Mick: “Well, at least he died happy.”

Anton: “Any of you guys holding?”

Ruck (Nicholas Sadler): “What?”

Anton: “Look, I’m desperate. I mean, I know you guys can get in the evidence room, so I was thinking—.”

McMacy (Sean Whalen): “You a**hole! You’re trying to score from a cop?”

Pnub: “I was gonna say I think you should do what the officers tell you, but now I’ve changed my mind.”

Mick: “Yeah, man, you should just kill them.”

Anton: “Her songs are bada**, man. She’s like a poet or something.”

Mick: “Anton, it’s killing me to see you this stressed out, man. I mean, you cut off your hand in the interest of who knows how many others. So, it’s not your problem anymore.”

Anton: “Well, where did it go?”

Pnub: “What, you mean the hand?”

Anton: “Of course I mean the hand.”

Pnub: “Try looking up your a**.”

Randy: “Hey, you’re not going anywhere, you evil-hosting f**k-stick! Nobody touches my Ford!”

Anton: “You’re dead!”

Mick: “Easy, tiger. Undead, actually.”

Anton: “You said you were just unconscious. You lied to me!”

Mick: “Hey, you killed me, all right? Try and keep this thing in perspective. Yeah, I was a little bitter about the whole ‘getting killed by my best friend’ thing, but I’ve had time to get over it.”

Randy: “Look, the trick is to keep yourself busy. That’s why I’m always working on the Ford. Keeps me out of trouble. Idle Hands are the Devil’s playground.”

Anton: “Not this time, ok? I’m through with that. I mean, all I do is, I sit around all day, I veg out, I watch TV, I smoke pot—.”

Mick: “No, no, no. No Kevin Costner speeches, alright? Let’s just go.”

Randy: “Oh, man. I can’t believe you c**k-blocked me like that. I thought we were buds!”

Pnub: “You know, we should check out the dance. I bet you I’ll win best costume, man. Chicks dig winners. I’ll probably hook up.”

Mick: “Yeah, because severed heads are one of the top ten big turn-ons.”

Molly: “I can’t even believe it. You blew off Heaven to kick it with me. You are the coolest.”

Anton: “You kidding me? You taking care of me beats the s**t out of Heaven, I’m gonna tell ya.”

McMacy: “They’re alive!”

Ruck: “They are not! You just shot one through the head. They’re morgue-meat!”

Anton: “So, I came all the way over here. You said he was holding.”

Pnub: “I didn’t say what I was holding.”

Randy: “Hey, earlier today, this guy, Anton? He told me that his hand was doing stuff that he didn’t want it to do.”

Debi LeCure (Vivica A. Fox): “Don’t you f**k with me, Mister!”

Randy: “Ease up, there, kitten. I’m telling you the truth, this guy was freaked!”

Pnub: “It’s me, Pnub! I’m your buddy!”

Anton: “I know who you are. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Pnub: “Then don’t!”

Mick: “I’m going to call 911. What’s the number?”

Anton: “I haven’t seen my parents in a couple of days.”

Pnub: “Maybe they’re dead. Party at Anton’s!”

Debi: “I come from a long line of Druidic priestesses sworn to fight a certain evil force that possesses the laziest f**kup it can find. It will kill as many people as possible and then drag a free soul into the Netherworld.”

Randy: “That’s some weighty s**t, there.”

Mick: “Anton, all you do is smoke pot and watch TV all day. Now, don’t get me wrong, what’s what life is all about, but… don’t you think you should have some ambition? Like, a goal?”

Anton: “Yeah. I mean my dream life would be to lie around all day in bed and watch TV while some hot broad delivers me food, and s**t.”

Pnub: “Bet she wins best costume.”

Molly: “You wouldn’t stand me up, would you?”

Anton: “Not a chance, Baby Snakes.”

Debi: “There’s evil out there, and I gotta kick its a**!”

Anton: “So, why are you here?”

Pnub: “We need a place to kick it. Don’t be selfish, Anton. No one else’s parents are dead.”

Debi: “Well, my work here is done. Time for the ritualistic sex. You coming?”

Randy: “You are a pistol.”

Pnub: “Maybe we should clean it first.”

Mick: “Hey, yeah! And while we’re at it, we can clean the whole fucking house! This ain’t our mess.”

Anton: “Hey, dickheads! Someone killed my parents!”

Tanya (Katie Wright): “I just feel really bad, you know? Because I was always so mean to them. Like this one time, they asked me to go out on a double-date, and I thought they were ’t**ds, because there’s only one of me, right? So I told them to go blow each other.”

Randy: “Wow… did they?”

Anton: “I’m dry.”

Pnub: “So?”

Anton: “So, why don’t you bring me over a dimer?”

Pnub: “This ain’t Dominos, you lazy b***h. Come over and get it.”

Mick: “Oh, look at me! Look at me! I’m Leatherface!”

Pnub: “Don’t you watch the news?”

Anton: “I hate that f**king show.”

Tanya: “Wow, you guys look great! Wow, who did your makeup?”

Mick: “I guess Anton did.”

Pnub: “Anton, I’ve gotta ask, what’s with the hand?”