I’m back with another installment of rating horror movie characters who have the same name! I don’t know what drove me to the name Ernest today, but that is what I chose for this round, in all its variations (Ernest, Ernie, Ern, etc.) Reminder: I’m rating the characters themselves, NOT the actors who played them or their performances. I hope you enjoy and let me know your favorite horror movie Ernest! (SPOILER ALERT!!!)

Ernie Kaltenbrunner – The Return Of The Living Dead

My Rating: 0/10

Ernie Kaltenbrunner (Don Calfa) spent most of his time working at his mortuary. Late one night, his friend, Burt (Clu Gulager) came over with many bags full of body parts that were alive and not-so-well. After cremating the body parts, the smoke from the crematorium infected and resurrected all of the corpses on the property. Granted, Ernie was a tough guy. He was helpful and very intelligent. HOWEVER, if it’s true that Ernie was a nazi in hiding, then he gets the lowest of the lowest score, because nazis don’t get a single point from me!

Ernest P. Worrell – Ernest Scared Stupid

My Rating: 10/10

Ernest P. Worrell (Jim Varney) worked as a garbage collector in Briarville, Missouri. While helping the local kids build an epic treehouse, he accidentally unleashed an evil troll that his ancestor buried beneath it. Ernest had a heart of gold and he helped everyone as best as he could. With a majority of the town not realizing they’re in danger, Ernest really stepped up and did everything he could to stop the troll. Sure, he unleashed him in the first place, but he also was the one who stopped him. He was the hero the town really needed.

Ernest Menville – Death Becomes Her

My Rating: 2/10

Ernest Menville (Bruce Willis) was caught in the rivalry of Helen Sharp (Goldie Hawn) and Madeline Ashton (Meryl Streep). While being engaged to Helen, he left her for Madeline and the trio have been miserable ever since. Ernest certainly wasn’t a saint. He left his fiance for another woman and then he killed his wife after choking her and pushing her down the stairs. He let himself get manipulated time and time again and he finally grew a spine after he was presented with the thought of living this life forever. Those three DEFINITELY deserved each other.

Ernie – 8 Heads In A Duffel Bag

My Rating: 9/10

Ernie (David Spade) was a med student who roomed with his friends, Charlie (Andy Comeau) and Steve (Todd Louiso). While Charlie was on vacation in Mexico, he accidentally switched bags with a mobster and ended up with his severed heads. Knowing nothing about Charlie, the mobster tracked down where he went to school and was led right to Ernie and Steve. Ernie was definitely the comedian of the group. However, sometimes he doesn’t know when to stop the sarcasm, even when there’s a gun in his face. He was very helpful in making sure the mobster didn’t just kill them.

Ernest Miller – MaXXXine

My Rating: 0/10

Ernest Miller (Simon Prast) was one of those overly religious, “everything’s evil, everyone is going to Hell” nut-jobs. When his daughter, Maxine (Mia Goth) ran away to work in the entertainment industry, he tracked her down and decided to make a film himself, by kidnapping and killing innocent women for the sake of his cause. This guy is just despicable through and through. He has no redeeming qualities and frankly, I REALLY think he just loved hearing himself talk.