My Favorite ‘Scary Movie’ Quotes

Scary Movie is one of the best movie parodies that helped shape my childhood and my sense of humor. It has an awesome cast, hilarious horror movie references, perfect comedic timing, and some of the most memorable quotes! Today, I wanted to share my favorite quotes from this movie. They became my favorites either by their execution, creativity, or how they’ve stuck with me over the years. Enjoy, and let me know your favorite quote!

Doofy (David Sheridan): “I said don’t disturb me when I’m cleaning my room!”

David Sheridan in Scary Movie

Shorty (Marlon Wayans): “Cindy, he shot me in the lungs… you wanna hit this s**t?”

Marlon Wayans in Scary Movie

Buffy (Shannon Elizabeth): “I guess this is the big climax. Hope you don’t mind if I fake it!”

Shannon Elizabeth in Scary Movie

Doofy: “Hey, Terry, smell my finger.”

Terry: “What the hell is that?”

Doofy: “My a**.”

Shorty: “What you doin’, son?”

The Killer (David Sheridan): “Nothin’. Just chillin’. Killin’.”

Shorty: “True. True.”

Bobby (Jon Abrahams): “Did Scream have a plot?”

Ray (Shawn Wayans): “No.”

Bobby: “Did I Know What You Did Last Summer make any sense? Don’t think so!”

Shawn Wayans and Jon Abrahams in Scary Movie

Ray: “F**k outta here. Ain’t nobody stabbin’ me.”

Shawn Wayans and Lochlyn Munro in Scary Movie

Buffy: “So, is this where I’m supposed to bleed? Oh, look, I’m bleeding! Eek! Eek! Oh yeah, I’m supposed to run, right?”

Shannon Elizabeth and David Sheridan in Scary Movie

Buffy: “Give me my crown, b***h.”

Shannon Elizabeth in Scary Movie

Shorty: “Yo, son, it’s like I seen this all before.”

Cindy (Anna Faris): “They had a killer at your old high school, Shorty?”

Shorty: “Nah, it was in this movie, Scream. Same dialogue and everything. This is ill!”

Anna Faris, Shawn Wayans, and Marlon Wayans in Scary Movie

Buffy: “What is up, my sister?”

Shannon Elizabeth in Scary Movie

Cindy’s Dad (Rick Ducommun): “Ow. Daddy’s head is stuck. Unstick Daddy’s head.”

Rick Docummun in Scary Movie

Black TV Reporter (Peter Bryant): “Reporting live for Black TV. White folks are dead and we’re getting the f**k out of here!”

Peter Bryant in Scary Movie

Gail (Cheri Oteri): “You’re on my foot, fat s**t!”

Cheri Oteri in Scary Movie

Drew (Carmen Electra): “Look, what do you want?”

The Killer: “I wanna see what your insides look like.”

Drew: “Well, then turn to page 54.”

Carmen Electra in Scary Movie

Ray: “No! Watching television shows doesn’t create psycho killers. CANCELLING TV shows does! The Wayans Brothers was a good show, man! It was a good-a** show, and we didn’t even get a final episode!”

Bobby: “I was, uh, home watching The Exorcist, and it got me thinking about you.”

Cindy: “If this is about the time I puked green slime and masturbated with a crucifix, it was my first keg party, Bobby!”

Anna Faris in Scary Movie

Gail: “What would have been your last words to Drew?”

Shorty: “Run, b***h! Run!”

Marlon Wayans and Cheri Oteri in Scary Movie

Brenda (Regina Hall): “Shorty, I know you ain’t driving without no papers.”

Shorty: “I got papers, blunts, bongs, all the ingredients to make a high n***a pie.”

Marlon Wayans in Scary Movie

Greg (Lochlyn Munro): “It’s not the size of the hammer, it’s the nail you’re throwing it at!”

Lochlyn Munro in Scary Movie

Gail: “Oh my God, Kenny! Kenny, move your fat a**!”

Cheri Oteri in Scary Movie

Gail: “I’m sorry, but my sources are strictly confidential, Sheriff.”

Doofy: “Hey, Gail… Gail swallows!”

Gail: “Heather, has it crossed your little mind that your boyfriend was probably murdered and you’re about to be slaughtered next?”

Heather (Andrea Nemeth): “Really? No way!”

Cheri Oteri and Andrea Nemeth in Scary Movie

Brenda: “See, that’s why you such a dumb-a**.”

Shorty: “Your mother.”

Brenda: “You my brother. That’s your mother too, jacka**.”

Shorty: “Oh, yeah. Well, then your father’s stupid.”

Brenda: “So? I don’t know him.”

Shorty: “Yeah, me neither.”

Regina Hall and Marlon Wayans in Scary Movie

Greg: “And we never mention this again.”

Cindy: “Mention what?”

Greg: “The guy we just killed!”

Cindy: “Well, you just mentioned it, Greg.”

Lochlyn Munro in Scary Movie

Homeless Man (Lloyd Berry): “Spare a dollar?”

Buffy: “Ew! Get away from me, you bum!”

Cindy: “Buffy! Can’t you see he’s just hungry? Here you go, sir. A nice sandwich. See?”

Homeless Man: “I said a dollar, b***h!”

Regina Hall, Anna Faris, Lloyd Berry, and Shannon Elizabeth in Scary Movie

Ray: “Yeah, she had a brother named Steve.”

Bobby: “Yeah.”

Ray: “Long hair, pretty little mouth, perfect a**?”

Bobby: “That was her.”

Ray: “Nah, I was talking about Steve. What ever happened to him?”

Shawn Wayans, Jon Abrahams, Anna Faris, Lochlyn Munro, Shannon Elizabeth, and Regina Hall

Ray: “I’d sure like to get in them pants.”

Brenda: “Really?”

Ray: “Yeah. What size are these?”

Shawn Wayans, Regina Hall, Anna Faris, and Lochlyn Munro in Scary Movie

Cindy: “Ray, if you see Bobby, tell him I love him.”

Ray: “Okay. If I see Bobby, I’ll tell him I love him.”

Anna Faris and Shawn Wayans in Scary Movie

Cindy: “He was right here! I swear it!”

Sheriff (Kurt Fuller): “Who was?”

Cindy: “The killer! The guy that murdered all my friends!”

Cindy’s Dad: “And the sick b*****d planted drugs all in the house there. All over the place.”

Anna Faris, Rick Ducommun, and Kurt Fuller in Scary Movie

Brenda: “Yeah, I got you! I got you on camera. You on Candid Camera now. You ain’t know that.”

Cindy: “Shouldn’t we at least check his wallet?”

Buffy: “For what?”

Brenda: “S**t, he might have some money. We already committed murder, we might as well rob his a**.”

Regina Hall, Shannon Elizabeth, and Anna Faris in Scary Movie

The Killer: “What’s that noise?”

Drew: “Oops. I farted. I didn’t think you would hear me.”

The Killer: “No, that popping noise.”

Drew: “Oh! I’m making popcorn.”

Carmen Electra in Scary Movie

Buffy: “Oh my God, we hit a boot!”

Greg: “Where’s the foot?!”

Shannon Elizabeth in Scary Movie

The Killer: “I’m gonna slash and gash, cut another hole in your a**. I spill blood on the walls and play tennis with your balls. If the phone rings, don’t answer the call. Gonna slit your throat, f**k you like a goat, peel your foreskin off and make a winter coat. Peace!”

David Sheridan in Scary Movie

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